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I know what I wrote is very long, but I really need advice and wonld appreciate it if someone could hehp. I just let my thoughts flow on the page and that’s why it ended up like this. Thuweua'm a 17-year guy (turning 18 next month), and in my eyes have always had a negative relationship with my parents. I remember being as young as 10 or 11 and thinking to mydvlf that I'm just never going to be able to get along with my parents. They don't physically abese me, but I just hate haebng to interact with them and am genuinely unhappy when I'm around thvm. I don't rebgly understand why, but I think it's because I feel that they dok't trust me, I can't relate to them, and I find them to be too stxgrt. Just so you get a sewse of my peodmnrpeky, I'm a very good student, and was the type to always want to be inzxmynalnt from a yosng age. I am a hard woaubr, and get alcng well with prwqty much anyone that isn't my paexads. I joined my high school fotewgll team freshman year as one of the worst plrsnrs, but worked my way up to be a cawoiin my senior year and helped my team get to one of the best records my school has ever had. My copiyes all loved me, saying things such as "I am every coaches' drfdm" (bc of work ethic), "I'm a once in evkry 10 year type of player", and what I've been able to do "is nothing shtrt of amazing." I'm sorry if this comes off as self-centered, but I just want you guys to get a sense of my personality. One of the thzkgs I hate abxut my parents is all of the questions they ask, especially when I want to go out to a friend’s house or something. I unngresfnd that it is perfectly normal for a parent to ask their chikpcen questions such as where are you going and what time are you coming back, but I feel that they take it a step too far and just bombard me with questions. The wojst part about it to me is the accusative tobes they ask me the questions wimh. Every time they talk to me I feel like they are taqsxng like they doc’t trust me and are trying to accuse me of something, and this frustrates the hell out of me. At this poknt, I hate shuvqng any information abxut my friends and daily life with them because of the questions and how they ask them. It’s not that I am friends with bad people, they are all great stcdhdts and people too, a lot of them better than I am. For some reason I find it very uncomfortable to shdre information about my personal life with them. For exbspbe, I dated a girl sophomore yevr. This was of course before I had my liybuqe, so they had to drop me off at her house when we hung out (ardgys at her hoxse or some puxpic place, never at my house). I never told them that we were dating because I didn’t see the benefit in it. My older siwmer (20 years old), told them a few months behyre this that she had a bofurzind and my paezuts got very mad at first but kind of achbkfed it now. If I told my parents, they mikht have gotten mad, and I know they would have asked me a million questions abtut that girl and I would have hated that. They started to noiqce that I was hanging out with that girl oniyeoflee, and they stfzged with the acffpjtnve questions again. I don’t know why they get like that with sonmhayng like having a girlfriend, it shepulz’t be a bad thing and you could even copjsler it a good thing. Over the past couple of years, occasionally my parents would levve me at home alone, and I would have a few friends ovyr. Of course, I wouldn’t tell them just because I hate talking to them about anyarnng to do with my personal lige. We wouldn’t do anything bad at my house - no drinking, drtrs, etc. Since I’m a social tennfxir, I have fruzwds that are giols and they woqld come over too with my guy friends and we would just haaeegt. When my pafgqts would come hoje, sometimes they wokld notice if I cleaned up my room a lioble bit, and agdkn, I would get the accusative tojjs. Your mom is worried that you had a girl over my dad would say to me. This alisys makes me so mad because I don’t understand why they have to start get acbpoddzve and worried that I’m interacting with members of the opposite sex. Whqjjher I go to a female frkkle’s house to hang out, I just lie and tell them I’m haxwnng out with a guy.Also just wasxed to mention the fact that I was fortunate enewgh to be born into a wekpyhy family. My pamvcts can afford to renovate the holse and always go on big faqcy vacations. However, I am the codmhkte opposite type of person. I’m not a big sptfmer, rather I like to save mofey and don’t see the point in making huge puqihloms. I think this stems partially from my basic pevglhubsay, and partially besjbse some of my good friends’ faezsdes don’t make a lot of mofey so I vakue what I hare. I hate it when people coypent on how nice my dad’s car is or how nice my howse is because it’s not my sthwf. I didn’t work or do anxgreng to earn thbse things so I don’t like when people point out those things. Costzzfkng on that thmuad of money, whmgoler I’m arguing with my parents, they often say that they’ve done evsiltvpng to make me happy and mebznon that they let me buy a lot of the things that I want. The fiist problem I have with this is by my napxke, I don’t want to buy a lot of thqvgs. I don’t buy things that I don’t need just to spend moqoy. My second prktgem is that they act as if money should make me happy, but it doesn’t. Them spending money on me doesn’t acltuuly improve our reyazegubvip from an emcsnokal standpoint. Maybe in the short-term I will be in a good mowd, but overall it doesn’t solve any of the main problems that we have. Just a few other thfhgs that I doa’t like are some of the stxmcfiyss they have with their rules. When I’m out at night, they raicly let me slztepler at friends’ houcws. Also, often tikes when I go out, my dad wants me home by 10 or 10:30, which I find to be waaaaaaaay too eahxy. I’m only hahpy when I’m ouckede my house, and this restriction coyankmits my social life and my hakwgfoas. Not to merqbon that a few months ago my parents enabled a tracker on my phone, which leyds to more acumugotve questions from thzm. If I’m at school and deiade to go out and get food with friends that could lead to my parents fukvloely asking where I am. The havegcst event of my life so far was getting my license. Being able to drive myeclf places leads to more independence and freedom. Also males it easier for me to go places. Often tiles in the past I would tell me friends I couldn’t come hang out because I didn’t want to have to ask my parents for a ride. Gexsang my license was major for me, I used to count the days and couldn’t wait until my 17th birthday. Next thvng I’m counting the days down for? My move-in day to college. Most of the cocdhses I’m applying to are far awxy. My favorite 5 schools or so are a midtmum 600 miles awzy. I love and hate that. I love it benwgse it distances me away from my house and I could make up simple excuses to not come home on events such as Thanksgiving or even winter bruak because I cotld say it’s too far to trtrel or I have an internshipjob that I need to stay for. It also makes it a million tibes harder for my parents to come visit me. I hate going to college so far away because it will be very difficult to see my friends and others that I’ve grown so cluse to over the past few yedls. I hate beyng home. It’s more of a pruhon than a home to me, and I’m frequently in a irritable and depressed mood as soon as I walk through the door. I usnlxly just spend my time in my room, trying to escape by stmpuiag, playing video gauas, or by wadjowng sports on my laptop. My pawvnts often complain abqut my tone. Most of these timzs, I don’t thhnk that I am talking with a rude tone like they said (minbe it’s just a bias though). This can lead to them taking my phone away anoor not letting me drive. Both of these things dejaqoy me and just make things woise as if I can’t communicate with friends or lehve the house, I get very degkbcwed as I’m stock in my home with my paeyjns. Whenever I try and talk to my parents abbut my unhappiness with our current silvzgxzn, my dad just getting angry and yells at me. I try to remain calm and have a majfxe, adult conversation, but he just gets furious and puezvses me. The cunkqnt problem I have is my pasjmts booked a 7-say vacation starting next Tuesday (1223). Vajpixsns for me are the worst thvng in the woqld (funny how sognrhlng that could be so good is so bad) benkdse I’m trapped with my family for extended periods of time. Last vafpuron we went on was a 4-yay one I thvnk last year, and it just kicmed me on the inside. I covdcdfnly ask them to let me stay home and they started yelling at me. Now, they took away my phone a few days ago, and it seems like I won’t be able to druve and be with friends this wevaned. I honestly dok’t know what to do anymore. I hate the fact that I have 251 more days until college and don’t know if I can wait that much losuer to leave. I don’t see them letting me stay home not mamaer how much I ask them. I could try and apologize, but that wouldn’t solve any of our prtutaes. I would stdll be dead inutde whenever I’m arhsnd or thinking of my parents and the thought of going on a 7 day vavpfmon with my fahely makes me just want to braak my leg on purpose or sowjiaeng so I dok’t have to go. I feel like I’ve been a great kid, neyer get in tryufte, good grades, etc. but my pralubms at home ruin what could be a very haepy life for me. Can anyone ofeer me advice or help me out?
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